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THE VASELINE BOMB |
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TUESDAY 17 NOVEMBER. One of the skipper’s many tasks on board is to lubricate the toilet pump when it starts to bind. This is done by pouring something gooey into the toilet bowl then pumping it through, hopefully leaving some behind in the pump to lubricate the piston. Every cruiser you meet has a different recipe for the gooey stuff, the most popular being vegetable oil. In this case, just make sure you don’t get the toilet oil mixed up with the galley oil. |
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For some time I’d had my doubts about vegetable oil. It is gooey, but what you really need is something thick and slippery, rather than gooey. Simon, from whom we repurchased Masala, gave me the perfect solution – Vaseline. “I put some in a tub,” he said. “Then I pour on boiling water to melt it. Slosh it around a bit to make sure it’s mixed, then pour it into the toilet bowl and pump through.” Ever since he’d given me this tip, I had been using this method with great success. |
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This morning, though, something went wrong. The gobs of Vaseline I put in my plastic vitamin pill bottle, reserved for this process, remained stubbornly stuck to the rim. I took the bottle into the toilet, screwed on the lid, and shook it vigorously while holding it from the top. Bad move. |
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The air trapped inside the bottle expanded rapidly as it heated, building up high pressure which fired the body of the pill bottle downwards at high speed. I was left holding just the lid. The bottle hit the floor with a huge impact that fired the boiling, slippery mixture of water and Vaseline all over my legs and feet, over the walls and floor, and all over the toilet. As I screamed with pain, my brain flashed “This is probably the recipe for napalm!” |
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I was sore for some time afterwards but still can’t figure out why I wasn’t badly burned. The worst part was trying to clean up the slippery sucker of a mess. Don’t try this at home. |
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Next morning we sailed down the rest of the Sandy Straits to Inskip Point, where we anchored to wait for our crossing of the Wide Bay Bar, the precursor to our final 100 mile run to Brisbane. The highlight of the sail was almost overtaking a large Beneteau travelling under motor. |
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LEANNE JOINS THE FIVE BLAST CLUB |
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19-20 NOVEMBER. We crossed the Bar at 9:30 in the morning. The trip south consisted of the usual mix of fast sailing during the day, followed by motoring at night when the wind dropped out. We had been sailing way too fast to properly time the tide through the Skirmish Passage around the southern end of Bribie Island, so during the night we slowly trundled along under motor in calm conditions. |
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During my night watch I was astounded when Masala was suddenly lit up brighter than daylight by an intense light from astern. I spun round and looked up into the sky in time to see a massive meteor streaking down through the atmosphere, burning up with a dazzling green light. Incredible! It left a vapour trail like a hundred jumbo jets, which persisted in the night sky for ages afterwards. |
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Later I had to play dodgem cars with fishing trawlers and ships off Mooloolaba. Three hours of staring through the binoculars and making rapid course changes to escape danger. There are so many ships heading past here and into Moreton Bay on their way to Brisbane that it is not funny. In the end it got the better of me. I ran Masala in close to the shore, hoping to get away from them. |
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I handed over to Leanne and went to bed. Some time later I was awoken by a sudden course change and the sound of Masala’s engine revving flat out. Leanne had just joined the highly exclusive Five Blasts Club, but she’ll tell you more about that in Commodore’s Corner. |
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The remainder of the journey was uneventful, thank goodness. We finished off with a great sail across Deception Bay to Scarborough Marina. Home again! |
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Right: approaching Scarborough Marina, journey’s end for 2009. |